Sarcastic Printable Birthday Cards

 
 
 

Wishing You A Sarcastic Birthday

1) Roses are red. Violets are blue. Someone just got old today. It must be you! Happy Birthday, Boomer!

2)

A long time ago, a boy was born.
He was given a special horn
With birthday magic.
The toot was tragic
Cuz breaking wind came from that horn!
Happy Birthday, Old Fart!

3)

Older? Yes!
Wiser? Hmm. The verdict is still out on that one.
That’s okay. I found the perfect book for you: “Adulting for Dummies.”
Happy Birthday!

4)

A Birthday Haiku:
It came into light.
Wet, wrinkled, and with large head.
You entered the world.
Happy Birthday, Big Head!

5) A book that has never been written: The Peak of Middle Age by I.C. Moore-Grays
It’s all downhill from here but Happy Birthday anyway.

6)

Ice cream: Check
Cake: Check
Candles: Check
Too many candles on cake set house on fire: Oops!
Happy Birthday to someone who has just been roasted!

7)

Surefire signs that you are not getting any younger:
-No one asks to see your ID anymore when you buy a drink.
-Young adults refer to you as “Ma’am” or “Sir.”
-Young children think you’re twice as old.
Happy Birthday! Get ready for retirement!

8)

Signs you’ve reached the Golden Age:
-You always hated fruitcake. Now you love it.
-Prunes are tasty treats.
-You start sentences with, “Back in my day.”
-You can’t wait to use those senior discounts.
Happy Birthday, Old Timer!

9)

Growing up is kind of like the weather.
When you’re little, it’s mostly sunshine and rainbows.
When you’re a teen, it’s more like snow, rain, heat waves, and tornadoes every week.
Happy Birthday! Enjoy the stormy years!

10)

Jack is no longer nimble.
Jack certainly isn’t quick.
Jack tripped over the candlestick.
Good thing he didn’t have to go up a hill!
Like Jack, you’re old now. Wishing your birthday is free of slips, trips, and falls!

11) What do birthdays and aged rock stars have in common? Denial. Have a great one!